One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
by circuzninjaxO
Summary: "I've never told anyone about my little... Issue. But it's not like anyone needs to know, and if they did, I'd probably end up in St. Mungo's with all the other looneys." Hermione deals with the repercussions of the war with the help of her best friends and best enemy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: I do not claim any rights to the Harry Potter franchise in any way.**

**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back**

**Chapter 1**

Today is the hottest Wednesday this spring. Sitting on the couch in my parent's foyer I lean my head back on the headrest, allowing the fan above me to blow semi-cold air on my face and neck. A warm, humid breeze blows through the windows, spilling perfumed air throughout the house. I wipe the sticky sweat plastering my hair to my forehead away and take a deep breath, trying to clear my mind of the horrors flickering through it.

One year. A whole year has passed since the war against Voldemort. One whole year of trial after trial, convicting the remaining few Death Eaters to life sentences in Azkaban. A whole freaking year of looking into the eyes of the men and women who killed my classmates, who ruined my home life, and who damaged my mind, soul, and body beyond repair.

"You have to stop thinking about it that way, 'Mione." I roll my eyes behind my lids. He always has had an uncanny ability to know what my thoughts are before they even pass my lips. Sitting up I lock onto the rumpled mess of black hair and wisdom-filled green eyes belonging to the man sitting on my father's recliner.

"It's the truth. Nothing will ever be the same." I whisper, sitting foraward. Visions of flashing green lights and frigid cold air envelop me. I see the empty look in the eyes that gazed up at me. Dead. Gone. Like they were never truly there, and like they never truly left.

"True. It will never be the same. But you are not damaged. You are only what you make of yourself. Everyone faces hardships, and everyone faces the after effects of war. You are strong, and you will return to yourself again. You have to let go." Oh Harry. Always so full of wisdom, even before the day we met. Such a young boy with so many horrors. How he has always kept a clear head (most of the time) and lived such a full life, I will never know.

"You don't understand. I don't WANT to let go!" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself, but I know they are true. I can't stop now. "I don't want to be alone. I don't want to face what we went through and I don't want to move on. There's nothing out there for me…"

The quizzical look on his face would be humorous if I weren't deadly serious.

"That's… That's why I'm helping with these convictions. These people… These MONSTERS. They need to suffer like we have. They need to be punished for everything they have done." My stomach is knotted, like it always is when I talk about my job. Working as a second to the Ministry in order to see them put in Azkaban was all I could really agree to do. I don't have the motivation to get a different job or start a career. I just want them punished.

"You have so much to give to any career you choose, Hermione! You are so smart and wonderful! You deserve more than sitting every day in that dark room and living through the war over and over every day. It's sick!" He's standing up and pacing a hole in the carpet now. "You were going to use your talents for something better! You were going to be better than all of us! And you won't! You have to! Please!"

"Harry, I don't want to talk about this anymore..." I groan. "We have this same conversation weekly. And it always ends the same way."

"We have to talk about it 'Mione. Over and over until you listen to me. You have to go and DO something. I can't stand seeing you wallow around this house anymore!" I roll my eyes. Always the same thing. 'You need to move on. You need to do something. Blah, blah, blah.'

"I don't wallow." I huff at him. I'm answered with a short raspberry. I swear sometimes he makes me want to hit him.

"I don't know where and when you picked up that habit but it has got to go." I frown at him.

"You're fault." And he's grinning again. How does he always do that? Even in the middle of the war he found a way to keep a smile on his face. I don't think I even know how to use those muscles anymore, and if I did, it would be too painful to follow through. I want to be like that again but… I can't.

"Yes. You can." He whispers, locking his eyes onto mine.

"Hermione?" I fly off the couch and whirl around as my mum comes bustling in the door to the foyer, arms full of groceries.

"Mum. I didn't hear you come in!" I shout, not meaning to react so strongly. She looks at me confused. "I'm sorry, I'm just not used to you being home so early!"

"Well I didn't have any more appointments for the night so I decided to grab some stuff to make some pies with you." She smiles sweetly at me over the island as she put the bags down. Looking around she asks me, "Were you talking to someone?"

"No, just thinking out loud." I reply quickly. "Trying to figure out how to clean up this case to present Friday morning."

"Ah, the Malfoy Sr. case, yes?" I hear her respond from the refrigerator.

"Yes but I would appreciate you not commenting on it, it's relatively secret until we finish and he is convicted." Making my way across the room I sit on the bar stool and watch her put away the groceries. I tried putting them away magically one time, but she insisted that household chores such as putting away groceries and making dinner where to be done by hand or they weren't done right.

"Oh right. Sorry about that. Well you will have to fill me in when it's all said and done, alright?" I just nodded. "Right. Well. How about I'll get started on these pies and you go take a walk or something. You've been locked in this house for a while now. You need to go get some fresh air."

"No that's alright I'll help with the pies." Going out in this disgusting hot weather was the last thing I want to do. But when I looked up at my mother's face I realized this was not a suggestion. With a sigh I nodded my head and began to tie up my hair.

"Yes I guess you're right. I guess I'll just… Take a short walk or something." I mumbled. The smile on her face was all the answer I needed as I stood up and proceeded towards the door.

oOoOoOo

A couple of hours had passed of mindless wandering before I stopped short at the steel gate in front of me. My feet had led me to the same place that they always did when I was forced out of my house by my loving mother.

I felt like I had no control over my body as I reached up to unlock the gate and drifted down the cobblestone walkway. One of the most meticulously gardened graveyards sprung up around me, stretching out just to the end of my sight. The bright white headstones littered the ground, with bushes of all kinds of magical flowers and plants all around.

I continued down the path to the large memorial in the center of the yard, my eyes locked onto the overbearing stone.

"Of course this is where you would come." Ron leaned against the memorial in front of me, his hands deep in his pockets. I shrugged and stopped just in front of him.

"Where else would I go?" He laughed at me.

"I dunno. Somewhere… Nice?"

"This place IS nice, Ronald." I frowned, looking around at the gorgeous landscaping.

"It's a graveyard, 'Mione. No matter how beautiful the plants are, this is not _nice_. Go to a café or something. Stick your nose in a book. Stop coming here."

"You can't tell me what to do, Ron." I snapped back, and ran my hand across the stone. I looked back up at him to see sorrow and amusement in his eyes.

"Too right you are. Never could. But it never stopped me from trying." He whispered. His eyes lingered on me as I walked along the edge of the monument. "Please, 'Mione. Leave. We don't want to see you upset again."

It was useless telling him that I was always in a constant state of misery. Still I ran my fingers in the engravings and felt the tears sting in the back of my eyes. Two hands gripped my shoulder and I knew both of them were flanking me, as they always used to. I stared up at the names of the two men I loved most in the world, and my heart threatened to fall out of my chest.

In loving memory of all those who served in the wizarding war:

Harry James Potter

Ronald Bilius Weasley

"I miss you guys…"

* * *

**So… I rewrote this chapter for a third time because I have a different way that I'm going to go with it! BUT it's going to be awesome! : ) Let me know what you think! Any corrections and reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I've seen a couple followers but none of the reviews that I so desperately crave! Show me some love! : )**

**Chapter 2**

I've never told anyone about my little… issue. The one where I see and imagine feeling my two best friends with me. There's no point. I'd just end up in St. Mungo's with Lockhart and all the other loonys. But I'm not crazy… I don't think. I've just never… Been without them. I don't want to be without them ever.

To this day I can still see the looks on their faces when I messed up… And there they were, running towards me, trying to help. "Brightest witch of the age" they called me… and with a stupid mistake, I killed my best friends.

"Stupid!" I scream, chucking my book across the room. How am I supposed to concentrate on this case with their faces swimming before my eyes, blurring the words of my law book? How am I supposed to put Lucius into that hole when I can't even get past the image of him sneering down at me as his wretched cousin tortured me on the floor of his mansion?

In the corner of my eye I see the faint scar on my wrist and I can't stop the tears that break loose and the sob that I choke out. No matter how hard I fight the experiences are still fresh in my mind. And I hate myself.

"Don't." Two arms wrap around me from behind and I tense. I don't deserve this comfort. And still the warmth brings me back and I relax into them.

"We could have been together for the rest of our lives, Ron." I whisper, bringing my hands up to grasp him. "We could have had children together and raised them with Harry and Ginny's kids. We could have had a happy life. And I… I…"

"Stop blaming yourself. There was nothing you could do. It's time to move on…" His voice is barely above a whisper and it makes me feel worse. I pull away and go to grab my book.

"I need to get back to work." I huff, and he just gives that throaty chuckle that gives me chills. But by the time I look up after grabbing the book off the floor, he's gone.

oOoOoOo

"Ms. Granger! Ms. Granger, wait!" A wheezy voice calls from behind me as I cross the entranceway to board the elevator.

"Not now, Elsie. I have to be in the court room in fifteen minutes." I state matter-a-factly, continuing my route.

"Ms. Granger I'm sorry but you have a visitor who has been waiting for you for the last hour. He says it is very urgent and he needs to see you now." My assistant wheezed, tottling along beside me. I'm not sure what made me accept her as my assistant. Elsie is short, lazy, fat, and irritating as anyone could be. But I guess I like underdog's, seeing as I used to be one myself, so I took her on. As it was, right now she is having a good deal of trouble keeping up with me so I stop walking and turn towards her.

"Who?"

"He prefers to remain anonymous until you meet with him, ma'am." She replied, leaning over with her hands on her knees to catch her breath.

"Nonsense. Very well I shall go meet with him. Elsie please bring my notes down to court room 217 B and let them know I will be there shortly with my apologies." I sighed, gritting my teeth. I may not be the person I used to be, but I am still never late. So I haul off to the seventh floor to my office, determined to make this useless meeting with this un-named man, short and sweet.

However, Merlin had another idea when he set up this meeting, for standing over my desk flipping through one of my many books was the blond haired ferret, Draco Malfoy.

"You prefer to not give your name to my assistant, Malfoy?" I snapped, walking over to my desk and snapping the book shut before shooing him away. He looked at me narrowly before stepping to the other side of said desk and sitting down. "Knowing you I would have expected the whole company to know you were here, seeing as your bulbous head is already taking up all the air in the room."

"I assure you I do not have a bulbous head, Granger. And no, I did not feel the need to share my name with your assistant as I was sure you would not come, seeing as my father is eight floors below us and in chains right now." His face was the picture of calmness, not even a sneer grazed its features.

"Yes well, no worries. In a few hours I will have him in chains and many miles out in the Atlantic Ocean. In Azkaban. Now. If you do not mind, I see that this is indeed a waste of my time and I must be leaving to accomplish said goal." But as I headed for the door, Malfoy stood up and blocked my way.

"I actually do have something important to discuss with you, Granger. Unlike you seem to view it, this is a highly classified meeting and is utmost importance, and I ask that you take a moment of your time to hear me out." His voice was low and serious, and for some reason it gave me pause. So I sat back down in my chair and put a quill between my teeth and motioned for him to sit down.

"What is it that you so desperately need to talk to me about then, Malfoy?" He seemed to not have expected to have to be so up front about the conversation and instead looked at me for a moment before sitting.

"It's my… father." He said slowly. I felt my eyebrow raise as I gazed across at him. He had come to speak about his father to me? Was this a trick?

"And what about him?" I asked after a moment had gone by with no other comments.

"I would like to ask that you offer up a deal with my father. He pleads guilty to the crimes, however, he gives you information, and you allow him to be house arrest and prove that he is not the same man that he was."

I could not believe what I was hearing. Me? Make a deal with Lucius Malfoy, of all people?

"This had better be really good information, Malfoy, or I won't even consider it." I muttered over my quill, which I had dutifully begun chewing on.

"Over the course of six days my father with gather information on a Death Eater that he knows to be hiding out. On the seventh day we will meet together for a cordial dinner and he will inform you of all that he knows about the follower in question. This will continue until the remaining four are caught, at which point my father will be released of his house arrest and you will have your remaining four Death Eaters in jail."

"And why are you asking for this, Malfoy? I thought you hated your father." I stated, leaning back in my chair. A dark look covered his eyes before a more serious one took over.

"My father is not the same man he was while I was in grade school. Before the battle ended my family and I left Voldemort's group and moved on with our lives. Him and my mother both changed their ways, although their pureblood ideals are still in the process of being broken down, they have grown positively over the last year. Believe me I would not put my neck and status on the line if I did not believe so."

"Don't listen to him, the prat." Ron situated himself behind Malfoy, glaring holes in the back of his head. "He's just trying to make sure he doesn't go down with his father."

"Is that true or are you just being a prat?" I asked Ron.

"I'm not being a prat!" Malfoy and Ron exclaimed at me and I quickly locked eyes on Malfoy as Ron laughed.

"Oh… I don't know Malfoy. I know what a terrible person your father was. I find it hard to believe he has changed." I whispered, trying to move along from my absurd question that wasn't supposed to be directed at him.

"Look. Getting the remaining four into jail would be an amazing boost to your accreditation. And frankly, Granger, I know where you're leading the ministry looking for them and you're cold as ice. You need our help. And if my father doesn't turn them all up by the end of the month, and prove to you that he is a better man, then you can stick him in jail and you will hear no more of it from me."

"Don't do it, 'Mione." Ron frantically tried to bring my attention back to him, but, true to my nature, I ignore him.

"Done. One month. But if you don't hold up your end, he's in jail. For life."

* * *

**Yayyy! Second chapter! Let me know what you think guys! So far I'm really happy with the way this is going. : )**


	3. Chapter 3

**Woo here's the next chapter guys! Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 3

The battle going on inside of my head has reach World War III status. For the past year all I have thought about, dreamt about, and lived for was putting this man in jail. The man who almost got my best friend killed my second year, who has terrorized the Weasley family for much longer, and who's name still makes my blood run cold.

Lucius Malfoy.

And now, my sworn enemy has come to me, asking for me to give him a deal? Give him a chance to show he has changed? And I _agreed_?

I take a second and lean into the cold black wall of the corridor, only to fling around and punch the wall my back had previously occupied. Ridiculous! Malfoy isn't even my _friend_! Ugh! I pinch the bridge of my nose and pace up and down the corridor. I've already made the deal with Malfoy. I can't go back on it now. With all the bravery of a Gryffindor that I have left, I clench my jaw, straighten my back, and head towards to looming door of the court room… And my certain doom.

oOoOoOo

The room has all the appeal of a blast-ended skrewt. It's cold, dark, and musty smelling. Before the last year of Death Eater trials and the year of Muggle-born trials before that, these rooms were rarely used, and so, they were rarely cleaned more than a sweep of the cob webs and dust. Today the room is full of the whole Wizengamot, a whole branch of wizards and witches from the Ministry's Law branch, and a few onlookers, including Malfoy and his mother, Narcissa.

I don't make eye contact with anyone but the Minister as I walk in, taking my seat on his left side. I shuffle my work and look at all of my wasted time, notes, and dedication. But then it occurs to me that I will still be able to use these in a month's time when we're back here. And with an extra note of clarification that he can't, won't, and will never change.

With a small smirk I look to the middle of the room at the large black, steel cage that will momentarily hold Lucius Malfoy. He belongs in there for the rest of his life as far as I am concerned.

As the top of Lucius' head of bright blond hair begins to rise out of the floor I take a moment and look over at the other two Malfoy's and two bright steel blue eyes locked onto mine. It was only now that I noticed the calm determination in them. And the slight nervousness. Did he really think I was going to go back on my word? Once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor! I'm not a sneaky little Slytherin, building people's hopes up just to tear them down.

I tear my eyes away from his and bear down on the man before me, and a spark of irritation ignites me. Here before me stands a man who killed and tortured helpless people without so much as a flinch. And even after this year, he still stands dignified, proud, and flawless. Not a single scratch on his worthless body.

I feel sick.

The Minister stands up beside me, "Lucius Abraxas Malfoy. You are called here today to face your crimes as follows; Following He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as a known Death Eater, torturing muggles, torturing wizards, murder in the first, second, and third degree of muggles and wizards, attack on ministry employees, and the unlawful transfer of high-level secured information to enemies. How do you plead?"

My stomach turns again as I take a deep breath. Standing up I turn towards the minister and he looks at me quizzically.

"Minister, Lucius Malfoy has agreed to a deal in which he will plead guilty, upon being allowed to stay on house arrest while transferring information about the whereabouts of the last four Death Eaters," I whisper into his ear.

The alarm on his face makes me want to take it all back.

"Are you sure about this Ms. Granger?" He whispers back. The skin on his ears turns a deep red and for a moment my heart skips a beat and I forget where I am.

"Pay attention, 'Mione." Harry's voice is like a wisp of air beside me and I refocus.

"Yes I am sure. I have agreed upon the conditions with his family and they assure me that should we not have the Death Eaters in custody by the end of the month, and we have not seen a change in Lucius for the better by said time, Lucius will be sentenced to Azkaban." If his eyes crossed anymore he'd fall over, I'm certain of it.

"Very well," He sighs deeply at me, and I sit back down hastily. "Once again, Lucius Abraxas Malfoy. How do you plead?"

Silence. Long, interrupted silence. And I know the word is stuck in the back of his throat like a muggle fry that just will not go down. But he keeps his composure. And straightening his back he proclaims himself guilty.

Applause and cheer ring out through the room. They all thought this was going to be a long battle, like it was for the others who all pleaded to not being guilty. One more down, four more to go, they think. Narcissa leans over and quietly sobs on her son's shoulder and my eyes narrow at him. How could he make a life-altering decision like this without his mother? And if he did, was it without his father's consent also?

I want to shrink down in my chair as the Minister yells for everyone to silence down and sit.

"Very well. Mr. Malfoy your sentence will be determined in the next court session dated for one month from today, May third. Court is dismissed." My knees are wobbly so I remain seated for the interim of everyone making a mad dash for the doors. Lucius is slowly lowered back into the floor and Malfoy and Narcissa remain seated down below. I lock eye contact with him one last time, just long enough to catch his slight nod, before gathering my notes, nodding at my assistant, and leave the room.

oOoOoOo

After I left the courtroom I headed straight to my office to write up the deal and finalize it. Seven hours later I found myself still at the desk, another fresh cup of coffee sitting next to me, and several discarded pieces of parchment overflowing the three trash cans in my office. Each version was just wrong, ranging from the first word to the last paragraph. Wrong, wrong, _wrong_! This whole situation is just _wrong_!

I crumple up my most recent parchment and toss it halfheartedly to the trash, not bothering to transport it the rest of the way when it lands in the middle of the dark green carpet. I then proceed to drop my head onto the desk and moan loudly.

I can't write this paper because I don't believe in it. I don't trust it. And I don't even know if it has even been agreed upon between all three Malfoy's, which leaves me in a rather rough situation. I don't like rough situations. Besides the ones that Harry and Ron used to get me into when we were kids, I never had them because nothing was ever _rough_ unless I made it that way. Take third year for example; I _chose _to take an inordinate amount of classes and run myself ragged. I was not talked into doing so and I certainly wasn't made to.

As such, I make my own choices. Which inevitably wind up being bad and ending me up in a place that I don't want to be: Like, in my office at two in the morning.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I notice a soft tapping on my window. Turning I see a handsome grey-horned owl standing there with a scroll conveniently wrapped in a green ribbon. Rolling my eyes I walk over to let the owl in, who just juts hit leg out to me. After taking the scroll I offer him a treat which he quickly turns his head from before flying off.

Apparently even the Malfoy's pets are rude. Sitting down at my desk I open the scroll and start on my next cup of coffee.

_ Granger,_

_ My father requests that you stop by tomorrow for lunch at the manor at 1 pm in order to go over the details of his deal and sentence. As it is a brunch at our manor he requests that you do not dress in your ordinary drab clothing._

I quickly glance down at my pencil skirt and white blouse with a small outcry. I do not dress in "drab clothing!" My choice of attire is strictly professional as it should be. It takes me a moment to deep breathing to not set the damn paper on fire before I begin reading.

_ We will be seated in the garden. Our house elf, Parsley, will be expecting you and will lead you to us._

_ Please do not be late,_

_ D. Malfoy_

Don't be late? Seriously! That man sure knows how to push my buttons! And what is he doing sending me an owl to my office at two in the morning? What if I wasn't here?

"Of course you would be here." Harry's voice is accompanied by his and Ron's laughter. "Where else would you be? Anyone who knows anything about you wouldn't have to even guess where you would be right now."

"Ha-ha, Harry. So funny." I say strictly, rolling my eyes.

"He's right 'Mione. How many times did we used to come down and find you still sitting in the common room pouring over your books or homework at three of four in the morning? Some things never change." They're both practically doubled over now in laughter, and the very slight twitch of a smile it brings to my lips make my heart break one-thousand times.

Blinking rapidly I clear the tears threatening to fall, and begin to pack up my bags. They're right, some things never change. But then again, some things do. And the fact that I will be having lunch tomorrow at the one building in Britain that only has horrific memories for me is a sure sign of that. I leave the office and lock up, the sound of their laughter ringing in my ears. I seriously need to get some sleep, or I know, I'll never make it.

* * *

**End chapter 3. Yay! I like it a lot. Now starts the fun part. I will admit the story I have planned out is going to be a good deal longer than I thought, especially with how amazingly short my chapters have been lately… Oh wells. **

**RxR please! I love input!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! I want to go ahead and… Not apologize for how long it took me to update. Had it been a conscious choice to not update I might feel worse, but unfortunately, being 21 years old, raising a now one year old son on your own, going to school, and working, takes a LOT of time out of your days and when I would want to write, I would come home, bathe my son, settle into bed to write, and pass the EFF out. But, fear not, I am still wanting to write this story and as time goes by I would type in my phone or write in my notebook in between classes. So yes. Thanks for your patience everyone, now. Enjoy! : )**

**Chapter 4**

Each minute that goes by makes my stomach twist tighter, and my heart beat harder. I would have vomited at least four times in the last hour if I weren't so determined to not let the situation get to me. Although, it was a close call.

I stare myself down in the mirror again. My hair is pulled up in a loose bun, a few curls framing my face. I opted for just a simple silver necklace and small hoop earrings, and a matching clip in my hair, along with some mascara, light eyeliner, and rose lip gloss. The top half is all me, but it stops there. Ginny brought me a form fitting black silk dress, with a plunging neckline that made my face go red. Matching black, strapped heels are nestled under the short train, and a glistening of jewels rolls down the left side of my body. I don't feel like me and I'm embarrassed. But at the same time, I kind of like it.

I feel… Almost good. For the first time in a long time I feel mildly attractive.

"You look gorgeous, 'Mione." I can see Harry reflected in the mirror behind me, his expression a little solemn. "Just wish you were doing it for yourself and not for that prat."

"I am doing it for me. Either way this turns out, I win. And besides, it's time to face my fears and start moving on, right? This is… Just the first step." Momentarily I am thankful that the brunch is in the gardens and not inside of the manor. Baby steps.

"I hope so…" He whispers, and I stand up to leave the house, sticking my wand in a small clutch. Here we go.

oOoOoOo

The grounds of the Malfoy manor are simply beautiful, and despite the horrors I have witnessed here, I take a moment to gaze around at them through the gate before approaching the tall, eerie double gate. I press my hand up against the wrought iron and it slips right through, turning to mist at my touch. Stepping through I see the long winding pathway up through the grounds towards the looming manor. Clearly these shoes were not a good idea.

Taking a deep breath I walk along the gravel, happy that I am always ahead of schedule, but then, taking in the large building, I stop. I can see her face clearly in my mind as she screams and spits at me. I can hear my own shrieks ripped from my chest as my body is wracked with pain over, and over, and over again. And there is his face, staring down at me with malice; Lucius.

"Keep moving." Both of their voices fill my mind and push away the destructive thoughts. I grit my teeth, clench my fists, and with another deep breath, continue up the gravel. My eyes do not waver from the front door the whole rest of the walk. I steady myself in my mind, and remind myself that no matter how afraid I am, I will not let them see it. Least of all Malfoy.

Before I have even released the knocker on the door it flies open, and a small, grim looking house elf looks up at me.

"Ms. Granger. You is right on time, of course. Parsley was told you would be and that Parsley must be prompt at answering the door and bringing Ms. Granger to the gardens for brunch with the Masters. If Ms. Granger would please follow me." She wheezes this out with one strained breath and then hauls off down the middle of the entrance room. I follow her as the door starts closing, my eyes glued to the drab pillowcase wrapped half-hazardly around her, but I can still feel the room around me.

Disgusting. From the dark stone walls, to the angry portraits sneering down at me, and all the way down to this poor house elf. Dark magic and death reek through the halls, assaulting my senses. If this is what they have to show me in their defense, I might as well sign off on Lucius right now.

A few minutes of winding hallways and we come to a large, open room with several double glass doors. The room is composed of glass panes letting sunlight spill across the marble floors. This is the first room I have been in that smells fresh; clean and with a mild perfume wafting from the herbs and flowers strategically placed inside.

The doors lead out into a courtyard covered with an abundance of plants that are disrupted only by a couple of cobblestone walkways. Off in the distance sits the woods. My feet carry me through the closest doorway as I take in the beautifully scenery. I drift down the walkway in a daze, taking in as much as I can; the smell of the lake down the hill, nestled beneath the woods, the wind blowing through the trees, the strong mix of dirt, grass, and flowers. I could almost relax here. Until my eyes are torn from my surroundings by a dark form to the left.

Just down the path from me is a large sitting area surrounded by columns with ivy thrown about the tops and a large weeping willow shrouds the area in a comfortable shade. But leaning against the column closest to me, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, left leg crossed over the right, and an irritating smirk on his face, is Draco Malfoy.

For a moment he doesn't seem to recognize me, his eyes narrowing, widening, and then returning back to their normal carelessness. He takes me in slowly, not hesitating in gaze, before locking his eyes on mine and slowly standing up.

"You came." He states simply, and I can't help the immature eye roll. We may be much older now, but some things just never change.

"I have an obligation. I never go back on my word." I snip at him, before squaring my shoulders and walking the remaining yard to him. He doesn't reply but smirks and turns to enter the structure. Sitting down around a glass table were both Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, donning green and looking immaculate as always.

"Ms. Granger." Lucius' sneer pulls my eyes in his direction. He takes me in slowly, much the same as Malfoy did. "I see you are dressed appropriately. Good. Sit."

Some part of my mind rejects his order and I remain standing for a moment longer before I take the seat across from Malfoy.

"Well Ms. Granger let's get to the point." Lucius' voice comes out in a low snarl, to which I narrow my eyes slightly. This is not a good start. "It was very… gracious of you to accept our proposal at such late notice, as Draco and I had only just finalized the plans for it that morning before court. My lovely Cissa here was none too aware of the conversation, but we have filled her in. Now, it is time for us to fully include you."

Parsley pops up to my left and gestures to whether I would like coffee or tea. I go with coffee, three sugars and a spoonful of milk. She then places a small bowl of fruit in front of me and continues around the table for each. Malfoy also takes coffee while his parents opt for tea. I never knew he was a coffee person. After we have been settled and Parsley is dismissed I sip at my coffee before answering.

"I'll be honest Mr. Malfoy; it came as a complete shock to me. Had I more faith in our current Auror department I may have been inclined to decline. As it is, this opportunity was too good to pass up." I sip my coffee again and then lock my eyes directly on his. "Do not take me as soft, Mr. Malfoy, or gullible or however you see fit, for I am none of these. I see an opportunity and I take it. I do not trust you, nor any of your family, and you have lost the faith of any witches and wizards that you may have once held. Having seen your actions and knowing your family, both extended and closely related, I will be one of, if not _the_, hardest to convince. I do not expect for what you have claimed to be true, no matter how greatly I may wish for it." I don't mention how I'm already amazed he hasn't spit his tea all over his clothes and table over the fact that I just insulted him in his own household why drinking out of his very fine china… That was bought with blood money. Suddenly I feel sick and put the coffee down.

Malfoy however is a different story; His face practically turns purple as he holds back his retort and breath. I look at him in a bored way, expecting his head to explode, before I hear Narcissa address me.

"Ms. Granger, Hermione. May I call you Hermione?" I nod my head dumbly as I turn towards the beautiful, aged woman. "Well, Hermione, please understand that although we are grateful that you are here, we have welcomed you into our home with the same amount of curtesy and kindness that we would give any other witch or wizard. Although I understand we have not always done right by you or by many, it would be greatly appreciated if you would accept our favor and return it. We hope this goes smoothly and accomplishes all of our goals, and narrow-mindedness will only bring drawbacks."

She says this tight-lipped and with little movement and yet I somehow feel like she leaped across the table and slapped me so hard my head spun around, and this feeling is quickly followed by shame as I avoid all of their eyes to mutter out a weak apology.

"No, no dear. It is understandable to have animosity; it is something my husband and son have to work on also, because aside from our old, useless differences, you three also have personal business that needs working through. However, that will come with time. Now," Narcissa sets her tea cup on the table and Parsley returns immediately to fill it. It is here that I see the glowing smile and nod Narcissa gives the elf, and my heart melts all over when it comes to her. A woman after my own heart. She turns and softly lays her gaze on me. "We have a few requests of you. If you decline any of these, we will understand, but we hope you won't."

Parsley comes over to my side of the table and begins to fill my cup again before she realizes it is still mostly full. "Miss!" She squeals suddenly, causing all eyes to turn on her. "Parsley, Parsley is so, so sorry you do not like your coffee miss. Can Parsley bring you anything else? Please forgive me! Parsley will not make coffee like that again!"

I struggle on what to say before I just settle on picking up my coffee and drinking more. It is cold now and the taste is displeasing. "No, no Parsley, it is wonderful! Would you mind just heating it up for me a bit?" Her face immediately lights up as she snaps her fingers and walks away from me and my now steaming hot cup of coffee.

"I apologize Narcissa." The name tastes odd in my mouth. She just smiles slightly and nods her head.

"Well. First, we would like some people from the Department of Dark Artifacts to come through the house and get rid of all of the harmful objects. Any that we deem not as dangerous and as too important have been locked away." I nod. This is a reasonable and intelligent request. It will be all over the Prophet for a while.

"Second, we would like permission to have our dinner meetings weekly at the Chateau de l'amour. I understand that Lucius is under house arrest, but this would be beneficial to all of us I believe." That shouldn't be too hard to accomplish, but it may take some doing.

"Anything else?" I ask quietly.

"No. No I believe that is it."

"Sounds acceptable, I should be able to get back to you by tomorrow on the Department coming over, and by next weekend's meeting about the location." I smile kindly.

It occurs to me that Narcissa took a hold of the meeting quickly. She always seemed to be the most reasonable of the three, so of that I am not particularly surprised.

"Now," Lucius begins quietly, pulling my attention in his direction. "Seeing as I only have a month from Wednesday, which gives me only three weekends not including today, I have gathered information on one of your Death Eaters. Here are my guidelines." He places a thick, unmarked envelope on the table between us, and then leans forward placing his hands on top. "We will meet every Saturday at eight o'clock for dinner. I will give you the information that you seek at the conclusion of each cordial dinner. This information will first be given to you verbally, and will be written down and labelled along with pictures, which will be given to you in a packet such as this with a seal on it. No one but the four of us may open this information unless properly given permission, which includes the approval of all of us at this table."

He leans back after sliding the packet a little ways across the table to me.

"The information in that packet refers to one Amycus Carrow. Missing for three hundred and seventy days. Brother to Alecto Carrow, who was sentenced to the Dementor's kiss one hundred and eighty three days after the end of the Second Wizard War. Amycus and Alecto were last seen together in the Ravenclaw homeroom during the war. Upon retrieval of the two, Amycus managed to escape by sacrificing his sister to the Order.

"The crimes for which he is pursued include but are not limited to: The torture and murder of some fifty muggles, twenty or more witches and wizards, the torture of some one hundred Hogwarts students, and for the illicit activity of following the Dark Lord."

"Voldemort." I quickly correct him, opening the packet and flipping through the immaculate files and pictures.

"Yes… Voldemort. Anyways, Amycus was last spotted 200 miles north of Ontario Canada. My sources claim he was headed further North West at the time."

My eyes locked onto Malfoy for a moment before I returned them to Lucius. "Thank you. This will be of great service to us." I smile, and put the files back together and into my clutch. Of course what bag of mine doesn't have the undetectable extension charm on it?

"Before you leave Hermione, would you allow Draco to give you a quick tour of the mansion?" Malfoy stood up quickly and I tried to cover a grimace.

"Oh, no Narcissa, thank you but that is unnecessary." I smile as I begin to stand.

"Nonsense! Draco, give Hermione a tour."

oOoOoOo

I have had a horrible stomach ache since I left the table with Malfoy. We're nearly done exploring the first floor and we must have passed by the stairs to the foyer what feels like a million times. Occasionally Malfoy points out a particular artifact that has dark magic and I keep mental images to have them removed. By the time the process is over their house will be pretty much bare.

As we loop around out of the side hallway he stops and looks up at a large painting above the main fireplace. It's a pastel watercolor of the lake behind his house. Looking at it makes my stomach relax a bit and I turn towards him.

"You told me I was cold as ice looking for Carrow but my hunters are only several kilometers away from there." That's a bit of an understatement, seeing as they were positioned around the northern edge of the United States, but still. I hear Ron chuckle at my fib.

"I said you were cold as ice looking for the Death Eaters, not specifically Carrow. However I know that your trails have gone cold and you were contemplating pulling them back. Now you have something to go on." He mumbles, not making eye contact with me. "The floo has been opened to this fireplace for you from your office. I can also open it later down the line from your home if you would like. But not until the artifacts are removed."

I keep my eyes locked onto the side of his head as he stares at the painting. He's changed a bit. His face isn't so drawn and gloomy, his platinum blonde hair a little longer so that it covers the top his brow. He looks at me as I make a step towards the fireplace and I stop when he takes a few steps towards me, stopping only when he is towering over me.

"Granger." He whispers quietly, and I look up into his eyes. I can see the slight wrinkles the war gave him, and in those orbs I can see sorrow, and behind that… Regret? The same eyes that stared at me in horror as I writhed and screamed on his marbles floors… and then it is gone. He steps back and looks away. "Thank you."

My body doesn't move as he walks away. The tight feeling in my stomach evaporates and I wonder what the real reason behind it was; fear? Nerves? Confusion? Shaking my head I reach out, grab some floo dust, and go to the office to apparate home.

**Yay! I'm super pleased! I have such big goals for this story, and I hope you guys are as excited as I am! Leave a review and let me know! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm back at it, two chapters in one week? Woah! Don't expect that a lot lol... Enjoy!**

**Chapter Five**

_My heart feels weak as we slowly exit the Forbidden Forest. It's cold. I can barely feel Ron's grip around my hand. I don't look at him, as the roaring fires at the castle break the dark night's black colors and pierces my eyes. I can feel his trembles, silent sobs wracking his body, echoing my own._

_ He's gone. All hope of winning the war, gone in a flash of green and red. So sound, no wind, nothing. Dark. Quiet. _

_ Alone._

_ We stand at the edge of the woods, fearing the outcome. I debate running. Far off, away from the War. From this world. But there is no escape. Voldemort will take over every inch of the land. So I will accept my fate now, with the same bravery as Harry did. I will die by my friends._

_ A flash of red light zooms past my peripheral and we're on the offensive, throwing spells back at the Death Eaters. 'Stupid,' I think. They flanked us and still missed. How are we falling when the other side is moronic, disorganized, and stupid. _

_ A spell rips open the skin on my wand arm and I am separated from Ron as I fall back slightly. NO time to assess the wound, I face off with two Death Eaters. I guess I screamed when the spell hit me, or we're making quite a commotion, because movement catches my eye from the castle as several of our side run down the hill to team up with us. _

_ One down. The second down. I'm throwing spells I didn't know I had learned and letting out the hatred, the sadness, filling the hole in my soul with a power I didn't know I had. _

_ The others have joined us and I look around frantically creaming for Ron, he's a couple meters off, taking on two Death Eaters of his own. His face shows the remainder of his sorrow as it dries up on his red, anger contorted face. As I head towards him I am attacked again, and must detract and face my opponent. He is strong, and quick, and my air has gone numb so my spells are off. _

_ 'I'm going to lose,' I think, as he raises his wand, a spell on his lips. But then an angry yell tears through the night and all eyes turn to face the woods. Running towards us is Harry, and behind him an angry and confused Voldemort stands surrounded by his followers. Harry? Harry!_

_ As my feet begin to move I am grabbed roughly from behind. My wand is wrenched from my grasp and cold skin leans against my cheek. I watch as Harry and Ron take down their opponents and then look up at me. The looks on their faces say it all. My captor is not the Death Eater I was facing simply moments before. It is Voldemort._

_ My body grows cold. How could I have landed myself in this position? How could I be so stupid? Why did I allow myself to be distracted?_

_ As if in slow motion I watch as they begin to turn and run towards me, their wands at the ready. Instead I feel the pressure of the wood of his wand against my neck and his cold, grisly hand on my bare, bleeding arm. I'm ready. I will gladly sacrifice my life for theirs. But as the words leave his lips the pressure is released and instead I watch as a flash of dark black races towards my friends…_

I don't remember sitting up. I don't remember feeling their names being wrenched from my throat but I feel the aching throughout. Two sets of warm arms wrap around me in the way I am so accustomed to and I feel my heartbeat slow down only slightly, the sweat on my body slowing down it's drenching. A kiss is laid upon my cheek and I know the feeling of Ron's chapped, raw lips. I know the smell of his wool sweater and his spearmint toothpaste that never seems to fade.

"Hermione!" My mother bursts into my room in her robe, my father on her heels. Their arms replacing the ones I crave. "Honey, are you okay?" My mom always takes on this tone of a hushed scream in these situations. It's all contradictory and just comes out odd, normally enhancing my agitation. Tonight I lean into my parents embrace and allow myself to become emotionless. I cut it off, as my father's hand strokes its way through my unruly curls.

"Yes." My voice comes out in a dry monotone. Sitting up I crawl off the bed and walk across the room to grab my jacket and clutch. "I'm going to go for a walk. Don't wait up." I say and head for the door, before turning around and mumbling a quiet thank you. I disturbed their rest. Again. These nightmares wake me at least five days a week, the screams always leaving me hoarse, the images always leaving me blind to the real world as flashes engulf me.

The night is dark, but the air is musty and warm. My feet lead me to the same spot they always do. I know where I'm headed without thinking, and the grate meets me before I have had time to prepare for it. As I cross the freshly mown grass I stop and remove my shoes, which I barely remembered to slip on in the first place, and drag my toes through the lush foliage. I walk circles around the memorial, humming to myself as I do, dragging my hand across the sleek marble stone.

Slipping the fingers of my other hand into my purse I draw out a cigarette and press it between my teeth as I search for my lighter. The flash of fire burns into my eyes and I am once again looking up at the castle. The poison filled smoke goes smoothly down my itching throat and I moan closing my eyes and tilting my head back. The fresh mown grass smell makes me feel warm, the smoke makes me feel relaxed, the cool marble makes me feel empty. But I feel.

"When are you going to quit?" I open my eyes half-lidded and look out of my peripherals at Harry. He's leaning against the memorial, a slight look of disapproval on his face. A dark laugh empties from my chest.

"Do you remember the first time we smoked together?" I whisper, letting myself slip into the memory as I slide down to sit on the grass, the sharp tips scratching me through my thin pajama bottoms. "Fred and George nicked a pack from their Uncle Hugo, and let us have some. We snuck out into the garage where Mr. Weasley kept his "muggle toys" and hid in the corner."

He laughs and comes to sit with me. "Yeah, I remember. We had to get away from Molly and setting up for the wedding. I think we were going to explode if we didn't." He smiles at me sadly. "Doesn't mean that you should have continued."

"I only do it after the nightmares." I whisper, taking another drag. "It reminds me of happier times, before all of this. Besides, I'm already full of scars. What's a few more?" I stare down at the arm holding my cigarette. _MUDBLOOD _it screams at me, covered by scars in every direction; internal screams I inflicted myself. Above that is the remaining scar of the spell I was hit with during our last battle. It still hurts occasionally. It all hurts.

"You're beautiful, inside and out." Ron's voice is to the front and right of me and I catch his blue eyes quickly. They're bright, ice blue. Similar, I think, to Malfoy's, yet… Not. Ron's are warm and happy, Malfoy's are cold and empty most of the time.

"My eyes look nothing like that prat's, thank you very much." He snaps at me. I groan. Sometimes that's a big issue about them. I forget they already know what I'm thinking. Always have.

"I said they look similar not-"

My attention is pulled quickly towards the gate as the metal scraping the cobblestones reaches my ears. I stand up and put my cigarette behind my back as the intruder lifts his head and looks at me.

"Malfoy?" I say incredulously. What in the name of Merlin is he doing here? Why would he been here in _my cemetery; _disrupting my conversation with _my friends? _He looks just as surprised to see me here as I am to see him, which is freaking ridiculous.

"What are you doing here?" I'm immediately on the offensive, anger building in my stomach. Without thinking I pull my hand from behind my back and take a drag of my neglected Marlboro.

"Tsk, tsk, Granger, didn't imagine Miss Goody-two-shoes to start up such a nasty habit." He responds, and then proceeds to light up a stick of his own. "Of course, most people would expect it from me, and I can't let my haters down." His input is unwanted and I feel a little crack in my control develop.

"Keep your opinions to yourself, Malfoy." I practically spit at him. But I don't because that's unladylike and even if I am mostly insane and I am still a lady… Mostly. "Answer my question. What are you _doing _here?"

He approaches me and takes in the memorial, then lifts his wand and taps the base, where a wreath builds itself. He then steps back admiring his work and pats the stone before turning around and locking eyes with me again.

"I like to say hello now and again. Of course I can't really come in the day time. Have to keep up appearances of course." His words are cocky and make my blood run ice cold. "However, my being here at this time and… smoking, is not nearly as interesting as _you _being here and… _smoking_."

I wrinkle my nose and turn it up at him. "I am welcome to be wherever I want, whenever I want. And on top of that, I am _more _than welcome to be here at my will because they say so." I snip at him.

"Who says so?"

"What?" I ask.

"You said because 'they' say so. Who is 'they?'"

I seriously want to beat myself with a bludger right now. Dumbass, dumbass, DUMBASS! How could I slip up like that? And to Malfoy of all people? My brain works quickly and I throw out a quick, half though, "The Ministery."

"Ooooh… So the MInistery says you can… Okay then. Next question." He pulls from his cigarette and I follow suit, once again reveling in the tingle down my throat. "Who were you talking to?"

Suddenly the tingling in my throat is painful because I cough and choke.

"Wh-what are you talking about? I wasn't talking to anyone! And besides that what were you doing spying on me anyways? That's extremely rude!" I overreacted. He knows this and raises one slick eyebrow at me knowingly. I change the subject quickly. "I couldn't sleep so I took a walk and ended up here. It's not so uncommon. This is where I'm most comfortable."

His eyes gaze down at my bare feet and I catch a barely audible, "Clearly."

"You know what, I'm done with this conversation, so I'll take my leave." I huff at him, slipping on my shoes and heading out the gate, leaving him smirking at me from the stone. I stamp out the butt of my cigarette in frustration and resign to walking home, since apparating would cause too much noise and I've already woken my family once tonight.

oOoOoOo

I'm fifteen minutes early to work with my coffee in hand, but last night's events continue to roll through my mind. I am amazed anything is able to go through my mind currently as I only got two hours of sleep, but here I am, rushing to the elevator for my floor, coffee in one hand, the Carrow packet in the other. I allowed myself a night to look over the paperwork and work out a plan before heading to sleep last night. Of course, this turned out to be a good idea, seeing as I would ever have been able to do it this morning.

Ah, who am I kidding? Yes, I would; but it would not have been nearly as enjoyable.

Elsie is quick to follow me into my office, her wheezy voice filling me in on all the unnecessary details around the Ministry. I would have cared about this a little over a year ago, but I don't now. I care about very little besides the time I have with Harry and Ron and getting all of these filth in their cages.

"Oh and Mr. Malfoy left you an owl this morning. He said he wished to discuss with you the finer details of the removal process? Hah, whatever that means but yes," She clears her throat and lays the parchment down on my desk. "That's it right there and that's all!"

Why is she being like this? I hired her to do her job and be normal, not nice. I cannot stand all of her uppityness and smiles. It makes me feel like I have to smile back. I do not smile anymore. Instead, I give her a glance and thank her, requesting she send an owl down to Macmillan in the Dark Artifacts Department to meet me at ten o'clock. She accepts and leaves me in peace.

After a moment of temple rubbing and sips of coffee I glance over Malfoy's letter and then prop it up against my books to keep in mind. I then grab my own parchment and fill out my orders for the hunters in the United States to begin looking North West of Ontario, and request that the head meet me by eight to iron out the finer details.

Sitting back I confirm that all of my top priorities have been scheduled and for the moment completed, so I sip on my coffee for another moment, eyeing the note from Draco. I then send another owl confirming that I will meet with him at one o'clock in a little muggle café off of Briarberry, about two blocks from the Ministry. By that time I will have all of the terms for my arrangement with the Malfoys fulfilled and able to be confirmed with Malfoy.

Today is going to be a long, long day.

**Alrighty! A little background for you guys and some interesting dialogue for Hermione and Draco! I would now like to take this moment and brag that my brother got me an autographed picture of Tom Felton in HP3 at comicon and gave it to me for my birthday. In it he calls me a lovely muggle, of course little does he know I truly am a witch with extraordinary powers. ;)**

**RXR my loves! Thank you sooo much!**


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